Grats to Del and Frannie and Other News

My ex SL Husband Del and his new wife Frannie have recently married.  I wish them the best!  Yes, really I do…no sacarasm at all.  I was invited to the wedding actually but thought my presence might be distracting on their happy day. Thought it was best to feel good that I was invited but yet stay away. I had a wedding day with him, her turn now without me hanging around which might have been awkward for her.

I have about an hour left of my RL birthday left and missing Nitram so have a music video for him which follows featuring the gorgous voice of David Gates. Looks like a Great Lake in that illustration, dear.

Emotional Griefers

Emotional Griefers is what I call them, you might not have heard the term before but I’m sure you have run into them before.  “Griefer” is a term used in the on-line gaming world for someone who intentionally causes problems for others.  Emotional Griefers are to me people that for some reason known only to themselves like to create emotional pain for others any chance they get.  A friend of mine has a much simpler name for them…simply “Scum”, which is also quite accurate.

The same friend of mine quite recently left a position she loved in SL because an emotional griefer she was avoiding (which seems to be the best way to deal with them because they love attention even if it is negative) was hired misguidedly it seems at the club she was working at.  Unfortunate, but I guess once you have seen someone deliberately cause problems for others while falling back on a sympathy story when caught happen many times.  The best move is to stay away from them at all costs.  The people at that club will learn but learn the hard way it seems. 

An emotional griefer seems to target someone or a couple that “seems too happy” in their mind and the higher the profile the more potential impact because then they can draw more people into it to take sides thus creating the most havok possible.  College Psychology classes would suggest to me that the griefer does this because they are unhappy in their own situation and somehow think if they could just put themselves in the other person’s position they could find the happiness that eludes themself.  So they systematically, try to ruin another person while trying to worm themselves into their position so to speak.  This particular griefer seems to have made breaking up other people’s partnerships a speciality.  After acheiving the goal, the griefer gets bored very quickly and moves on to the next target leaving behind the busted up remains of a partnership and friendships too. 

If you observe an emotional griefer in action….a one time occurance could be considered a lapse in judgment…a mistake but serial episodes gives much less reason for sympathy and more reason for scorn and avoidance.  I think my friend made the best decision she could considering the circumstances.  She’s not one that likes high drama situations so leaving to let the next chapters play out without her would be best. 

How to spot one without having to observe for awhile? They are the type of person that does anything they want without any concern for the feelings of others. They seem to be proud of that so will display something of that nature in their profiles. Something like “I’m with him and don’t care what others say or feel about it. *sweet smile* ” a kind of a “so what” statement that shows a general disregard for anyone that might be in their way. So many wonderful people in SL that we can choose to avoid those which just so happen to be the worst of what social atmospheres can offer.

It’s Been A Long Time

It’s been a long time I know but I think I should be back at least somewhat regularly now.  Nitram and I had our vacations. I got back from mine…his was longer and he came back to a family emergency that kept him away much longer than expected.  Such things do happen and I waited of course.  He’s still dealing with that so I have just been keeping busy and my time in SL is less at the moment but I do log on to see friends and think I might be around more often especially when Nitram returns.  Right now, what he needs to deal with has to come first.  Can’t wait to see him again but know it will be better if he’s not trying to squeeze time in for me while trying to cope with other issues too.