Fast Track to My Mute List – Second Life Manners

Names removed to avoid further embarassment of the guilty. Content edited to remain a work safe blog.

Him: Wow I just spotted the most beautiful girl in SL
Me: Hi. Thank you for the compliment but I’m dancing with someone.
Him: Yes The envy of the room
Him: You really stand out Put together an incredibly delicious avi
Me: Thank you, I made my own skin and shape so I could be unique in Second Life.
Him: A real prize then
Him: I would love to have my hands on that ass right now
Me: Please, I would like to give him all of my attention.
Him: Any chance you are free later or would like to switch dance partners You look bored with him
Me: I’m not bored at all and you do need to move on to another target as I’m really not interested. I will leave when he does.
Him: You would like me better What I wouldn’t love to do with you {snipped some lines of rather graphic content}
Him: You there You haven’t said anything
Me: It is rather rude to pester a woman when she is slow dancing with someone else. I’m quite happy right where I am. Please just stop.
Him: Will you be free tomorrow
Him: Anytime tomorrow just name a time
Him: Hello
Me: Please just move on to someone else. Not interested.
Him: You are missing out
Him: Hello
Him: Cold hearted *****
Me: Welcome to my Mute list, do enjoy your stay.

I do think it is very rude to attempt to pick someone up when they are dancing with someone else. He started out fine with his compliments but then the conversation very quickly degraded into some graphic content from a total stranger, which considering the circumstances was very unwelcome. Despite being told I wasn’t interested to move on, he persisted still thus leaving muting him the only alternative to shut him up so I could enjoy my afternoon out.

Very seldom I think you would be sucessful when trying to get someones attention when they are wrapped in the arms of another, gently swaying to music. There was plenty of women dancing in that same room alone that might have welcomed his attention where as I did not. Why bother unless it is rejection you seek?

As for the gentleman I was dancing with, I had a wonderful time and look forward to that next dance.

New Blog – Darkenon’s Second Life

Darkenon has started a new Second Life Blog at

http://dwirsing.wordpress.com/   stop by and check it out!  He has lots of good ideas for a great blog.  He will be covering Second Life from an man’s point of view.  With great places to shop for the male avatar, places to take a date and advice from his point of view.  Enjoy!  He’s off to a promising start!   I added his blog link to my blogroll for convient future access.  Thanks Dark!

An Interesting Tie and What Not to Do in a Pageant

There is now a new three-way tie for first in the Miss Costa Rica contest between Emerald, Veronique and Sabien!  Will be interesting to see how that shakes up.  I got a chance to talk to Emerald a bit more yesterday during the day and she’s quite nice and seems to be a pro with these things as she also has qualified for the SL Universe pageant.  I wish her the best in both contests! 

As this has been my first pageant and my last I think, I can’t offer any advice as to how to win but I can tell you what hasn’t worked for me.  I’m not comfortable with asking for votes.  I was expecting a pageant with judges so this has been different.  I was told last night by Felicity that the next phase of the pageant will be that way.  Alas, I don’t see myself as making it to that phase.

I first sent out IMs to the few people I know in Costa Rica asking if they would consider voting for me.  I think a few might have.  Since it is only my second month in the Costa Rica sims, I’ve spent some time hanging out at the clubhouse smiling and greeting people as they come in to vote.  Engaging in some friendly chit-chat to get to know them a bit better but not asking or begging for their votes.  I have met many more of the residents that way at least. To me, I think I would find the begging as annoying so I haven’t done it myself.  I have been with Marielle when she has been more aggressive at rounding up votes and that did seemed to work out for her. She has a unique personality that I think lets her get away with going after votes without seeming overly pushy about it.  I was counting on the interviews playing more of a role in the contest but I haven’t seen much of a change after those were published.  Mine was the only one that added humor to it.  That could have been a mistake to try but it is how I am and to do a completely serious interview without any humor in it at all would have not really been me.  Seems a long boring interview recapping much of what is already on the Costa Rica website works better.  So serious is the way to go in the interview process rather than trying to make a few people laugh. 

I attended one of the Friday parties last night at Iron and Stormy’s.  If you haven’t yet attended one of these parties, I would encourage you to do so. I had an incredible time and hope to attend the next one even tho it doesn’t fall within my normal SL time.  Costa Rican parties are always so well attended because they are so much fun!  Veronique and Marielle were also there and I think they managed to grab a few votes out of it.  When I left, I asked people if they hadn’t already voted in the contest to take a moment to go to the clubhouse to do so but never said, “Vote for me”.  I think I will volunteer to help with the pageant next year, as I think that would be much more fun and I can take what I learned this year with me to try to improve the experience for others. 

What has been very clear to me that I learned from this experience is that I am not a highly competitive person.  I’m not willing to win at any cost by begging, bribing or as one contestant said, “being mean”.  I was naive, not might have been naive but was as to how these pageants work with the vote boards and such.  Del and I talked about my dropping out of it entirely before the interviews were published, as it wasn’t the fun I thought it would be for me because of the vote getting process. I know I’m not the only contestant that hasn’t liked that part either. He asked me to stay in as the next phase would be what I wanted to be involved in and would excel at and see how it goes.  Not to drop out of the contest but be eliminated if that is what is meant to happen.  I love to socialize and meet people so that is just my plan till Monday when I leave it behind and not worry about it at all. I’ll continue to hang out with the other contestants as that has been lots of fun!  Socializing and having fun is more my personal style. I’ll find out when I get back which way the wind blew in the last round of voting which will wrap up while I am away.  I think that plan beats agonizing about it, which I know I am doing. Now to dress and work on a review for the blog today! Now what to wear…  No more posts on that Pageant.  I promise.  I had enough of it too.

More Pageant News

I’ve gotten the opportunity to know my fellow contestants Marielle Magic and Veronique Saphir better and they are wonderful! The interviews haven’t had much effect yet on the contest (Yet only posted late last night) but the change in the rules to allow the voting for more than one person as long as you don’t vote for the same person more than once per week has changed the whole dynamics of the contest. It has lessened the effect some were making with bribes and made it a much closer race.

Veronique and Marielle were able to make much progress since the rules change and it’s good to see as both are fine contestants. I’m rooting for both of them! (They were behind me in the rankings before.) Veronique is now leading the competition and I would love to see her hold that lead. A classic come from behind underdog story like Seabiscuit but Veronique is much better looking than Seabiscuit of course! Oh, and I did add a link to Veronique’s modeling blog to my links collection here.

Some unexpected things that happened today were some attacks on my husband Del posted in the comments of my last post on pageants. I know I didn’t have to approve the comments and could have just deleted them but I do believe in letting people have their say even if I don’t agree with them personally. I have nothing to hide (as my regular readers know…I really let it all hang out in my Relationship posts) and Del handles himself quite well. I believe it is just “Miss El Meano” as my son has been calling her, trying to smear. Oh well, can’t say I didn’t expect that…she did say she would be mean afterall.

Also today, I heard from a couple that Del and I bumped into while dancing at a castle with our friends Rainbow and Gris. When we go out with Rainbow and Gris we always have tons of fun and joke back and forth in general chat while dancing. Our banter was overheard and the couple came to the clubhouse to vote for me. It would have been two votes but they only had one Costa Rica group tag between them so it turned to one vote and some really good well wishes which is really just as good to me. I guess we made an impression as a fun couple to be around, Del and I. We talked of many things that night from our upcoming vacations to Rainbow’s unfortunate bug with disappearing system skirts to Gris wearing tennis shoes with a suit (It happened just one time and I have teased him since because he is such a snappy dresser from the ankles up.) to my concern that I could have my skirts disappear like Rainbow’s have. That nasty bug would kill me as I don’t wear pants that often unless I am out taking Jose the horse for a spin on the trails. Poor Rainbow! I did find an article about this mysterious system skirt bug and passed it on to Rainbow and I hope it does clear up her problem.

I also met a Costa Rica resident named Nurse who was super nice. She’s not actually a nurse but a brillant animator with the warm, caring personality of a nurse. She voted for both Marielle and I which was fantastic! I’m glad I got the opportunity to meet her.

Del has been very supportive through this pageant. I couldn’t ask for a better SL husband. I had no idea how much stress entering the contest would put on us. It is particularly hard on him as he is very protective of me. I feel really bad about the attacks on him as it is my fault he is in this position. I promised him no more contests like this as he is most important to me. I had hoped to make him proud of me but he assures me that I already have. The title I now wear over my head, “Del’s Wife” is much more important to me then any other title I could ever gain. Glad I don’t need additional titles in his eyes. Luv you to bits, babe!

The contestant interviews are now all posted at the Costa Rica sim website under the Community tab. Ryker did such a lovely job with the questions and set up of the interviews. Thank you Ryker! http://www.costaricasims.com/webhome/

Second Life Pageants

This is my first pageant and very likely to be my last one as it has not turned out as I expected.  I expected a fun positive experience win or lose so I couldnt really lose at all.  Instead, I found out that I’m not really pageant material, as some have taken this event entirely too serious.  One of the contestants, I know is bribing for votes and told me she is willing to do anything to win even if she has to be mean.  To that I responded that she could take it then, as I’m not willing to go that far.  She has lost my vote as I won’t be voting for her in further rounds now that I know how she operates.  I’ve met some of my other contestants that were really nice and playing fair as I am so it’s not all bad apples in the bunch. The addition last night of allowing you to vote for multiple people now as long as you don’t vote for the same person twice is now making this a closer race and watering down the bribing effect on this contest.  It’s a welcome addition.  I know I thought maybe naively that this event would be based more on beauty, personality and interviews but so far it has been strictly about who you know or can bribe.  The new change in rules should be helpful.

Del and I will be gone for part of this anyway, myself starting July 21st I will be back home in Michigan doing some camping next to my beloved Lake Huron and attending my family reunion for a week or so and Del will be gone for 2 weeks for his vacation so not going to worry so much about this.  I’ll find out when I get back what effect the interviews have on voting, if any at all.  Since Del and I will be both gone and unable to vote or rally votes on my behalf, I think I’ve pretty much gone as far as I’m going to go in this contest.  I know I’m not nearly as excited about this event as I once was before encountering Miss Mean. 

A suggestion I would make for next year is to publish the interviews before the voting starts to level the field a bit.  The set up as it is now gives a big advantage to those that are already better known in the Costa Rica community.  I have no idea how you would rid the pageant of Miss Mean other than just not compete unless you are also willing to do as she is.  Good luck to the remaining contestants and now that I know who the better girls are I will be voting for and supporting you.  {{{HUGS}}}  I will continue my support of the Costa Rica sims as I won’t need a title to do that anyway.  *smiles* Being a tropical island housewife, suits me just fine.

The update to this article here http://laurelynelaville.wordpress.com/2008/07/18/more-miss-costa-rica-pageant/ as someone seems to be passing only this one around. Feel free to try that home button out too.  *smiles*

Restricted!

Seems Linden Labs is now restricting Second Life logins to Premium account users during busy peak hours. It’s a good thing for Basic account holders to know if they don’t already. I am premium till next February so set there. Good idea or bad? I know I have mixed feelings about it myself. It’s good if it encourages more people to upgrade to a Premium account and that money is used to upgrade and improve the grid. Bad if your friends or customers can’t log in during times they have available to use Second Life thus stop logging in at all. How do you feel about this?

Some community response and a poll on this subject in this thread http://www.slexchange.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=54796 at the SL Exchange in a thread started by WiseGuy Capra

ONE YEAR ON IN SECOND LIFE by Del Hotaling

OK so it’s one year on that I rezzed into the world of Second Life not knowing what to expect or do. I heard about it on London radio Capital FM and thought umm I’ll give that a shot; well it beats the arse out of sitting and watching soaps with the wife on TV. So downloaded and installed as a newbie I floated around not knowing what the hell to do or go. For some strange reason I kept landing in Spain. Now I don’t speak Spanish so it seems a right good place to dump a cockney bloke.

Looking around in my Newbie brown hair and assorted clobber, I worked out that to get a good image you had to buy some better clobber than what was provided free also a skin and shape. So loading up the lemon squeezer on the SL site (Visa credit card) and off I went for some jeans, shoes and a shirt. (funny how most “guy” newbies these days forget their shoes but not their cocks). I got a “Night Club Male” shape (wow) and some skin that looked good in a shop and thought do I look the dogs or what, then out to look up the action.

As with most “Guy” newbie’s a quick tour of the SL flesh spots was on the agenda. (Amazing how some guys can dance and spend hours on a site with a full erection, if only that was possible in real life). Bored with this I moved up market to some posh dance places with a view to picking up the odd stray woman. (As you do!) Any way, after a time I found this woman (so long ago now I can’t remember her name) my first girlfriend on SL. Being the flash sort of bloke I am I rented out this bleeding great house, just for me, which was fully furnished with all the stuff you needed! Well I hung around with her for a bit which was OK I suppose (now looking back) but we decided to call it a day mainly because I was bored shitless with her and felt there was more to see and do on here rather than get shacked up with someone spending my nights knocking the arse off it. Back to the dance clubs and it was not long before I met up with a red headed newbie in Blackhearts who I introduced to one of my friends to help her out with her barnet and clothes. That all sorted I kicked off another relationship which for me then lasted over a month or more. (like guys are expected to remember dates etc, nah!) For this we will call her PM. She got herself quite hot with her new hair and clothes and after awhile moved her into another bleeding great house I rented. Well it was 24/7 with her and we got on great so much so that we even planned a wedding only for her to dump me at the eleventh hour. Well its seems that PM could not get me out of nut in real life and which she claimed was affecting her real life relationship (yep we talked in real life, photos the lot) and that she was never ever going into a SL relationship again. Anyway PM spent most of her time, when I was not on, in Phats Dance Hall swanking around in her posh frocks. I found out later that after we logged off she would be back at Phats meat farm giving it large. So I thought better off out of this and yes it does take time to get over a relationship even on here and yes, I did feel shit on.

After a period of cooling down it was back out there (like I’m going to sit on my arse like a sado contemplating) and met up with my now SL wife Laurel. Yep WIFE. She is loyal, honest, trustworthy, affectionate and bleeding clever at making clothes and stuff. She now has two shops so I hope that in time I can sit back and she can look after me in my old SL age. (BTW do we ever get old here?) The wife and I go out a lot to different places and enjoy each other’s company very much; Laurel also reviews some of the places we go to in her blog here. We now have our own Ocean Estate home where we have bought the land and have a great neighbour.

BTW while out dancing with the wife and I came across PM who said she would never have a relationship again. She’s now shacked up with some geezer and partnered and has more titles over head than you can remember, one was even Mrs B. Well that’s her fantasy. (That aside, how is it that the people who are given a job to run a club act like they governed Germany back in the 1930’s. Are they suppressed in their real life relationships and want to let that suppressed inner feeling out on us people having a night out.)

CONCLUSION

Now you may think that I am a self opinionated, materialistic person but to be honest I don’t give a shit. I am the person in real life as I am on SL with no airs or graces and behave as I do in both worlds.

There is no point in trying to be something you’re not because you will always be found out and I always treat people with respect on here as I do in real life, remember there are real people behind these avatars with real feelings. Second Life is a fun place to be and can be very addictive, I am enjoying my Second Life immensely and I hope you will to.

I would like to thank some of my very long standing friends that I have met on here and who I hold in high regard for their friendship.

Ayr Cazalet (lovely woman) Evane Ember (Our mad nosey neighbour) Maryjane Stonewall and Jeana Beaumont Love you lot to bits. Thanks for being great friends.

Second Life Observation #2 Gender in Second Life

If according to Linden Labs that about 60% of the Second Life account holders are male and only 40% are female, why does it seem sometimes like everyone is a lesbian? Since there is no real shortage of female avatars in game, that means there are quite a few cross-dressers. That explains why many men want to hear you on voice or SkyPe before they get too serious about you, those of us that do play our real gender get the third degree because there are some playing around.

Tonight, I read a forum post from a rl female lesbian that found out her SL love of many months was really a man in a skirt. He told her on her birthday so she was crushed. I felt bad for this person so it got me thinking about this subject. I have nothing against those that do reveal their true gender to close friends and aren’t out to really deceive anyone enough to hurt feelings.

I’ve encountered this in other games too…my Everquest sister was actually a male Marine in rl. He was role-playing a female wood elf with a personality based on his rl wife. He was very convincing at it which spoke to his skill as a role-player but he wasn’t out to deceive anyone or hurt feelings…he was just playing a well developed character that he had dreamed up. Once you got to know his character a bit he would then tell you his real gender, as he put it to make sure there wasn’t any misunderstandings. I can see this aspect but just can’t understand what that guy was up to that hurt that girl. Seems rather heartless to me… Anyone else have any feelings on this?

Mid Mall – Are you looking for a Shop Location?

If you are looking for a location to put your business, you might want to consider Mid Mall.  I’ve had a store there for awhile, the rent is reasonable, the mall is well advertised and the owner Miglena Mills is very kind and helpful.  The Mall also offers many freebies for the newbies, a beautifully designed club and all the latest Second Life games.  You can even bring a date to dinner using one of the wonderful dining tables Miglena has designed that allows the perfect simulated dining experience. 

Visit Mid Mall at http://slurl.com/secondlife/Whitesand%20%20lands/219/102/302/

Second Life Observation #1 Shapes

While out dancing with my handsome partner he often makes observations both positive and negative about avatars near us or their profiles.   One thing that comes up frequently is how some of the female avatars look like stick figures or stick insects as he will call them.  You know the otherwise nice looking female that has the abnormally thin legs and arms.  I’m not sure if this look comes from a popular free shape out there but adding a bit of muscle to your shape’s arms and legs can be more attractive with more curve to the limbs. 

If your shape isn’t modifiable and I wish they all were so we can make those changes at whim like making your bum bigger to add shape to your pants or smaller for that skirt with the big bustle behind you,  I currently have four shapes with attractive faces as well – that you can change to suit your needs.  My partner prefers a curvy female avatar shape and since I am that way in real life my shapes tend that way too but since you have the magic of modify you can make them thinner or taller or shorter as you wish.  One of them is my personal shape I use. I’ll have more of these available too over time.  For 250L, I think they are reasonable considering you can change them anytime and personalize your shape as you desire.